oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
