your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
