I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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