and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
