One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
