i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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