How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
