I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
