help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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