I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
