She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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