i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
