I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
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Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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