So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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