So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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