so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize