Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
operation have a gay friend backfired
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
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