I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
