OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
