I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
