But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
