He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
