we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
