What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
