there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize