I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
