I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
