the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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