i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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