My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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