Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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