No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
