I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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