if you like me you must not know who I am
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
