If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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