I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
