he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
