If i come over, it means nothing
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
