3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
