We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize