would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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