We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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