do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
