Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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