I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
