why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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