I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
