If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize