You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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