We won't sleep together?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
