Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
false alarm, still single
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
