I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
