Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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