Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
