this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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