he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
