Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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