Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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