I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
now i know why i became what i already was.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
