I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
