i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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