absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
