During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
