thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize