Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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