Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
