Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
