Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm at about main and main street
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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