i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
